


Together in this

by LacieFuyu



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: It's rather sweet actually, M/M, Post-Episode: s02e10 By The Light Of Dawn, Well in general Malec talking abaout feelings, hurt comfort, little angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-13
Packaged: 2018-10-04 07:26:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10271393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LacieFuyu/pseuds/LacieFuyu
Summary: Magnus and Alec talking about their feeling because they needed it





	

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy this fic ^^
> 
> It's betaed by Hairi_Esh_Mooncake! Thanks dear!

After everything that happened in the institute, both Alec and Magnus have decided they should head back to Magnus’s loft. Magnus could see how stressed Alec still felt with everything that happened today. He was still shaken.

 

Even after Magnus portaled them to his loft, Alec was yet to utter a single word. His hand kept gripping Magnus’ tightly - as if he let go, Magnus would be gone. Magnus held it silently, giving Alec all the support he needed right now.

 

He led Alec towards his bedroom. He helped Alec in getting out of his jacket and pushed him gently towards the bed.

 

Magnus was about to shed his own jacket but Alec’s hand, that was still holding his, just wouldn’t let go. It took Magnus a while to get out of his jacket.

 

Magnus laid down beside Alec. The Shadowhunter immediately buried his head in the crook of Magnus’ neck, breathing him in, making sure he really was here. He threw his arms around Magnus’ waist, hugging him tight.

 

In return, Magnus kissed the top of Alec’s head and patted his head slowly, as a reassurance that he was really here and wouldn’t go anywhere.

 

That bubble of temporary peace was broken by Alec.

 

“I am sorry.”

 

Magnus blinked. He looked at Alec with a questionable look. He didn’t know where did it comes from.

 

“Why are you suddenly saying that, Alec?”

 

Alec turned his face from where he had his head tucked in and looked up. Alec looked straight into Magnus’ eyes.

 

There were so many emotions in his eyes but the most prominent one was guilt.

 

Both of them sat up in front of each other. The atmosphere felt thick. Both of them got lost in each other eyes until Alec reached out for Magnus’ cheek and rubbed it slowly.

 

“I hurt you. I was accused you about Izzy. I let the anger blind me and I…. can’t forgive myself for that.”

 

“Al-“

 

But Alec cut him off.

 

“On top of that, I almost lost you, Magnus. I almost lost you and the last time we spoke, it was an argument. You almost died, Magnus, and I thought I hated you or worse, you hated me. I-I can’t deal with that Magnus…. I can’t. You didn’t even know that I love you. I-“

 

Alec choked on his tears.

 

“I can’t lose you because I love you with my whole being.”

 

One moment Magnus was in front of him, the next he felt Magnus holding his head with both of his hands and Magnus’s lips on his.

 

Magnus kissed Alec hard yet tender also full of desperation and love.

 

After the kiss none of them let go, they let their foreheads and noses touch each other. Basking in each other’s warmth and presence.

 

A warm smile appeared on Magnus’s face. He looked at Alec with adoration that, of course, earned a blush on Alec’s face.

 

“Alexander, I love you. I already knew that for quite a long time now. Never doubt it in your heart that I will always love you.”

 

“A long time?”

 

“Yes, my dear.”

 

Alec pulled back a little and looked at Magnus in wonder. How could this beautiful man had already loved him for quite a long time. How lucky he was to be loved by Magnus and he only realized now.

 

He made Magnus keep holding that feeling to himself, without saying anything. Yet he still loved him.

 

“Since when?”

 

“Mm?”

 

“Since when have you realized that you love me, Magnus?”

 

Magnus looked at Alec, studying him, then his face broke in a sad smile. As if reminded of something painful.

 

“Magnus?”

 

“Since the wedding Alec. Deep down, I knew that I love you but I never really realized it until….”

 

Magnus struggled to say it. Alec realized that Magnus’ hand was trembling and there were unshed tears in his eyes. Alec grabbed his hand, running soothing circles on it.

 

Magnus looked deep into Alec’s eyes. He sighed.

 

“That time when you were trying to track Jace and it almost…. killed you ”

 

Alec gulped, remembering that time how he pushed Magnus. Magnus looked down, focusing on Alec’s hand.

 

“Don’t cut me off, Darling. I need to let it out.”

 

Magnus still refused to look up. He drew a deep breath in and spoke up.

 

“It was awful, Alec. I was there trying to keep you holding on, trying to make you stay alive. I tried everything I can, everything I know but nothing worked, you kept slipping away from me. l was losing it. I have loved many people in my long life, Alexander, but nothing could compare to what I feel for you. It crushed me when I thought I really lost you.”

 

Alec about to say something but Magnus continued.

 

“I still grieve for Ragnor even now and things keep coming one by one. First, the threat to Downwolders, I nearly losing you at my own house, then Madzie, being used as a tool by Valentine. I was so worried that I would lose you yet again when Raphael almost betrayed me. I-I was feeling so powerless, I can’t stop all this from falling apart. I already lost too many people dear to me. I can’t lose you too Alexander, it’s too much.”

 

The tears slowly fell down from Magnus’s eyes as his emotions slowly took over. How many times he almost lost Alec toward death was ridiculous. He almost wanted to laugh at the world for it.

 

Magnus sometime wondered whether it was his curse to keep losing everyone he ever loved. That it was a message that he didn’t deserve to love or be loved because they will eventually all die.

 

Alec hugged him immediately. He let Magnus sob silently on his shoulder whiile rubbing soothing circles on his back.

 

Magnus have always been powerful and reliable. People naturally look at him as if he had all the answers. They were forgetting that despite him being a High Warlock of Brooklyn, Magnus also had his limits.

 

A fact that even Alec almost forgot.

 

“Magnus.”

 

Magnus didn’t move away from Alec’s shoulder but he tugged onto Alec’s sleeve, indicating that he heard him.

 

“I promised you that I wouldn’t push you away if I had a problem, can you also promise the same?”

 

“Why?”

 

”Magnus, you might be strong but I can’t let you bear everything alone. We are in relationship and you always there for me. That’s why I also want to be there for you, when you need it. Don’t bear everything alone, we are in this together.”

 

Magnus looked up, his eyes still red because of all the crying but slowly a smile painted his face. It was a smile he always reserved only for Alec.

 

“You never cease to amaze me, Alexander.”

 

The adoration in his voice made Alec blush. He cleared his throat to swipe the blush away, earning a delighted chuckle and smile from Magnus.

 

_He thought that his embarrassment was worth it, if it could make Magnus smile._

 

Magnus put his head on Alec’s shoulder again and threw his arms on Alec’s waist.

 

“Magnus?”

 

“Let me sleep like this, Alexander.”

 

Alec chuckled.

 

“No, your head would be hurt if you sleep like this. Let me lay down too.”

 

They settled with Magnus’s head laying on Alec’s chest. Magnus felt lulled by Alec’s heartbeat and just before he drifted off, he said good night to Alec.

 

Alec responded with the same.

 

Alec spent some time watching Magnus’ sleeping figure, kissing the top of Magnus’s head just before the darkness consumed him.

 

“Rest well, Magnus.”

 

(In the Afternoon, after they wake up, Alec glanced at Magnus who was basked in the early rays of sunshine, a smile painted on his face. He realized that to him, Magnus Bane’s happiness was worth everything.)

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback would be loved :3


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